With Pure Infinite Acceptance you see there isn't anything to forgive
A few years ago while meditating after working on forgiveness; particularly self-forgiveness, I was given the complete understanding that when we are completely accepting, forgiveness no longer is necessary. This was profound to me, and the importance of clearing and resolving our emotional attachments, to past traumas, beliefs and stories, that would create room for greater seeing and understanding, became very apparent.
My experience now is that of Pure Infinite Love, Compassion and Acceptance. Whenever anyone 'attacks' or does something that would normally appear to be an insult to this body/mind in some way, this energy of Pure Love, Compassion and Acceptance just overflows within my experience towards this other. I am essentially Loving the person and situation into wellness automatically.
Does this instantly alter or change the person?
Not always, though it does inherently create two reactions;
It shifts the energy and understanding of the situation so I am not negatively affected.
It introduces a higher vibration at the Spiritual level that positively affects the future choices made by this person.
Some have expressed concern that to forgive is the same as giving permission to be walked all over. This is actually the exact opposite of the Truth. When you are willing to forgive you naturally move into greater emotional and spiritual strength allowing for growth in self-esteem and personal power, which then decreases the chance of it happening again. You are already aware; you've been made aware so you will be naturally and gracefully prepared.
What also comes up quite often is the belief that somehow our lack of forgiveness is and continues to be punishment to others; in Truth we are the only one affected by this choice. Regardless of what anyone else has done to warrant your unforgiveness, you are the carrier of this stuck energy and therefore the recipient of the effects.
When we don't forgive, the energy of the situation remains with us and is carried into all future interactions which then negatively affects our actions and reactions. We are now choosing from a fearful place which gives cause to feeling afraid of being hurt again.
Further, it robs the body of the energy it needs to survive and the results can and often do manifest as ailments, diseases and illnesses. With this understanding, it becomes clear that to forgive and let go of the past in all its forms, is a Grand and Loving gift to the Self.
One way or the other you aren't living a Joyful and Peaceful life while living with unforgiveness, so I encourage you to focus some energy on releasing what appears to stand in the way of your personal tranquility and bliss.
How I forgave my experiences
I actually used two approaches to move through and resolve my experiences so that I could honestly forgive myself for my part and any others for theirs.
Several years ago I read the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping that I utilized multiple times over the years to reframe my perspective of events, sometimes right in the moment they were playing out or very soon after, and that allowed me to move through my feelings and release the impact on my experience. I found using the Radical Forgiveness process really helped me to move beyond victimhood and the sense of entitlement that so many feel around their negative experiences, and shift into empowerment.
The experiences we have, especially when they involve others, are more than one sided. There is always our perspective or truth and the Truth. The human mind tends to tell stories about what is or was happening and what it means to us based on past experiences, whereas the Truth is often far different being founded in what is Real from the highest view.
In addition to the Radical Forgiveness process, which included self-forgiveness, I applied my abilities as a Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology practitioner to further my growth into being completely and infinitely Loving, Compassionate and Accepting of self and other by really digging deep to release and resolve all the aspects I could find. As a part of my process, I chose to employ the services of other healers who I trusted to help me see myself from a differing perspective and assist in finding what needed healing within.
The specific healing modalities I used were:
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with self and another healer
ThetaHealing with self and another healer
Empathology with another healer
Code work with another healer
Inner Child workshop with another healer
Ho' o' ponopono with self
My approach was to thoroughly collapse the energy/emotional attachment to each experience and related conditions, and so during my personal evolution I discovered the power of Love, especially Self-Love to profoundly dissolve my attachment to judgment, hatred, desire for retribution and retaliation.
When we are completely and infinitely in Love with self and other, there isn’t room for anything other than more Love, Compassion, Acceptance, Joy and Peace.
My heart is overflowing with Love and Acceptance for you!
May you heal and Be Well… Namasté Om